An Open Letter to Parents of Year 12 Students
We talk a lot about transitions at Transitioning Well. In fact, we live and breathe it every day and constantly reflect on how transitions impact every aspect of our lives and work. You might think that when we’re going through our own transitions, we’ve got it all covered. I can assure you we don’t.
My 18-year-old son is about to start his VCE exams. He got his driver’s license a few months ago and had his last day of school on Friday. I’m in the midst of supporting him while navigating the transition to parenting an adult, and it’s literally all the feels!
At times of transition, we’re adapting to our ‘new normal’ – this process impacts our roles, relationships, routines, and assumptions (Goodman, Schlossberg, & Anderson, 2006). The transition for parents of Year 12 students is rarely spoken about, but it impacts all four of those areas.
Watching your child navigate this stressful and emotional time can be challenging. The entire family unit may be navigating disruption, and our ‘normal’ responses and rhythms are tipped on their heads.
There’s a gamut of mixed emotions, from praying your child doesn’t get sick on exam day to an enormous sense of joy and pride at what they’ve achieved this far. There’s nostalgia galore wondering where the years have gone to being grateful they can pick up groceries and younger children from play dates.
For our children comes their own transition, leaving behind the structured way of secondary school – and sometimes their friends – as they move into the world of employment or tertiary education. It can be a time of great uncertainty, and that too can have huge impacts
It’s important to remember that everyone copes differently during times of transition. So, while one young adult may be bubbling with joie de vivre, another may be feeling lost – and that’s OK.
If this is your reality right now, know that you’re not alone. Understanding the path of transition can be helpful, as can identifying the key factors that can influence your ability (or your child’s ability) to cope during times of change, such as:
- How you perceive the change
- What help you can turn to
- Your values
- What strategies you can employ to cope.
And, if you’re like me and riding the wave of emotions – we’re nearly there, though I suspect a lot more will come splashing our way, especially as we near our next transition – watching our children grow wings and fly from the nest!
